Distinguished Lecturer: Create 'Safe Spaces' for Men to Dialogue

The Gender Affairs Division of the Ministry of Community Development, Culture and Gender Affairs, on Thursday, November 26, 2009, hosted a Dinner and Distinguished Lecture entitled: “Increasing the Momentum for Change – Strategies to involve Men in the Elimination of Violence Against Women." The occasion commemorated the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women which is celebrated on November 25th each year. Renowned and accomplished organizational Consultant, L. Anthony Watkins of Odyssey CONSULTinc delivered the Lecture to a packed audience of women’s groups across the country, as they gathered at the Garden Sanctuary, Centre of Excellence in Macoya.

The evening commenced with the National Anthem which was sung by Kizzie Ruiz and this was followed by a spirit filled invocation in song by Roger Johnson. Monica Williams, Director of Gender Affairs brought welcome remarks and urged all present to remain for a sumptuous meal which also formed part of the celebrations. Coordinator of the Women’s Institute for Alternative Development (WINAD), Folade Mutota also brought greetings as she highlighted some of the achievements of WINAD, an organization which was established 10 years ago on November 25th. This was followed by Greetings from a representative of the UN Systems, Leah Marie Richards who read a speech from UN Secretary General Ban Ki Moon which highlighted the need for much more resources to be invested in conquering violence worldwide. Dr. Stanley Plowden, Director of the Planning Unit at the Ministry of Community Development, Culture and Gender Affairs, brought greetings on behalf of the Minister of Community Development, Culture and Gender Affairs, the Honourable Marlene McDonald, who was unable to attend due to her required presence at activities related to the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting (CHOGM) 2009.

In his remarks, Dr. Plowden treated with the issue of inter-generational transmission of male violence, which set an appropriate tone for the lecture presented thereafter.

The Lecture began with the presenter acknowledging the Women’s groups, organisations, friends and supporters present, and commending them for their ongoing work and contributions. He indicated that in the battle against violence there is need for strong laws, multi tasking, networking and the promotion of gender equality. Watkins informed that in order to address the issue of gender inequality, we simply need to get more men involved. He referred to the child rearing practices of the past and of today, and expressed that this has, in some ways been responsible for the plight of violence in our society and in our school system. He posed three questions:

- How do we socialize our boys and girls with respect to violence?

- Do we want to involve men in the elimination of violence against women?

- How do we involve men in the process of creating a world where both men and women are respected?

In response, he stated there is need to involve men in the development of a culture of harmony and by extension we need to involve men in this significant and ongoing process of change.

He outlined that the mechanics of this change would involve:

• Some things internal – An internal change must take place in terms of attitudes, information, education and training. Also our habits and behaviours must reflect the change eg. How we drive, our use of drugs and alcohol and furthermore, our sexual behaviour.

• Some things external – circumstance, events and incidents that occur outside of us stimulates what happens inside of us.

Watkins further stated that as part of the internal approach, the various male archetypes and stages must be indentified; these were namely, innocence, orphan, wonderers, warriors and magicians. He said that there is a need to ‘get into men’ and why they are who they are. According to Watkins, “We must tap into the power of the past as it may not only influence our present, but can determine our future because every contact leaves a trace and shapes what we become.”

Another internal approach identified by Watkins included Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) which involves engaging in three types of characteristics – visuals(those who process the world based on what they see), auditory (those who are into information and details) and kinetics (those who are into feelings). This would allow for the capcity to tune into how a man thinks and process things. He gave an example of the fact that in order for a man to understand the impact of violence against women, he may need to walk down the road and actual see a battered woman in order to feel the pain she experiences, having been exposed to violence.

From an external standpoint, Watkins highlighted the need to build communities of action through networks, and common interest groups for men to share their successes and failures.
These communities will provide the avenue for men to, among building relationships and other things:

- Discover – by talking with people in their field;

- Dream – about the things that they can do;

- Design – strategies in coping or dealing with problems;

- Destiny – Begin to make things work

The Presenter went on further to suggest that there be lectures designed for men and their sons to attend so that they can dialogue together and build relationships – to have their ‘manly conversations’. He indicated that there should be support mechanisms when the change takes place so that men can find new ways of talking, expressing, listening and saying I am sorry. Watkins shared that there will be some level of confusion with the change and it is in this area that the support of wives, children, friends, family and the wider society networks can help. He added that some ideal activities can be instituted to compliment the above approaches. These include, coaching and mentoring programmes, proper listening skills (listening to silence as well), support structures for language development so that men can properly express and articulate how they feel. In addition, creating ‘safe spaces’ for men to meet and have conversations is necessary. “We need to work on something that is natural to us – stories, law and legend, as these are tools and vehicles to communicating values, building hope and building people. It is only through these mechanisms can we see a world of men and women coming together, building a society and a legacy of man and woman living in harmony.” Watkins concluded.

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CREDITS:

- Story and Photos by N. Walters